The infertility is one of the big crises for a couple. Both of the partners are heavily affected and they also have to deal with the grief of infertility too in many distinguished ways. During infertility treatment, desire is not the reason to get intimate. It is actually the medicines, diagnostic tests and clocks which govern the time to indulge in sexual activity. The couples indulge in sex for maximizing the fertility during ovulation, increasing their sperm count for enhancing the chances of conception. However, planning is extremely relevant for increasing the odds to conceive but it is not easy.
How infertility affects sexuality of a couple?
Around 45% of couples have reported that getting involved in sex by the clock is quite a stressful thing to do. One of the worst things that happen is a feeling of failure which may enter into the couple’s relationship and may cause disconnection.
A study conducted by Stanford depicts that around 45% of women who are infertile suffered from sexual issues which lead to emotional distress. Infertility not only brings along with it depression, anxiety and low self-esteem but it also influences the sexuality.
Sex on demand for men can be extremely stressful. Men can develop certain types of sexual difficulties like erectile failures and premature ejaculation. Many women in such scenario lose the desire for intimacy without arousal in an effort to time it in a correct manner.
Ways to cope up with infertility and develop a connection with your partner in difficult times
Here are few of the helpful ways to cope up with infertility (Female infertility, Male Hypogonadism) and develop a connection with your partner in difficult times
Acknowledge the issue
The infertility in most of the cases occurs among young couples. It is actually the unexpected of the test of the couple’s strength during the time of crises. As far as sexuality and emotional connection are being concerned, both of these are inseparable. The couple should be in a position to accept that journey towards pregnancy is mechanical and quite complex. So they should communicate with each other freely and express disappointment without any sort of false reassurance for staying connected.
Stay connected sexually
Don’t restrict yourself to having sex only at schedule timings. You should take out time to get intimate even outside the fertility timings for taking off the pressure of conception. You should not wait to address your sexual issue until your infertility is resolved. Many couples think that they will work on improving sex life only when their fertility treatment would be successful and they would complete the family. However, it should never be this way. The sexual life might be different during this time but it should not be unsatisfactorily or nonexistent at all.
Share all your feelings with partner
You should not try to hide your feelings or pretend to be stronger in front of the partner. Instead, just be open about all your worries and also ask about the fears that your partner might have. The couple who talk with one another just to make a complaint or criticize is just defending are at greater risk to derail their relationships. You can also seek the advice of a counsellor for becoming much clearer in communication during the difficult times
One of the most effective ways to tackle and cope up with the problem of infertility is to give the topmost priority to your relationship with the partner. The partners are required to understand the reason why they got connected with each other in the beginning. Both the partners should be well informed about the entire procedure of the infertility treatment. They should support each other and attend all the medical appointments as well as therapies together.
Take occasional breaks
When you have tried many things and you still feel that you are actually being stuck, then it will be quite worthwhile for you and your partner to take a break. You should not let the conception pressure affect your intimacy and ruin the relationship. You should actually forget about all this and try to focus on health as a couple. The infertility therapies can undeniably be quite stressful but you should blame yourself when the sexual life has just been transformed into a casualty due to this. Instead, take necessary breaks. Think that sexuality has a functional purpose and should be full of joy and love rather than just for achieving the goal.
The infertility can be traumatic but offers a number of opportunities to the couple too. It is a crisis which partners faces together and how they could reach out to one another in difficult times may set out the tone of their future relationship as well. Although there is no one size fit therapy for achieving a healthy sex life while undergoing infertility treatment but there is expert assistance which is available for the couples. Taking help of the therapist goes a long way in learning the tactics to reconnect. The partners can also take occasional breaks and reconnect with each other relieving themselves from the conception pressure for some time. It may be hard for you to share all your deep and vulnerable of the fears of inadequacy as well as failures, if a couple could move in the right direction by sharing the fears in a meaningful manner then it could strengthen the bond between the partners in a long run. Nothing connects you more with your partner than the feeling of being understood properly in the shady times of life. In fact, a deeper and stronger connection would actually emerge.