I’ll let everyone else complain about the statue (No goalie?).  But I’ve got something else I need to get off of my chest about the Consol Energy Center after having been there for about 10 games now. I hate the seats. Hate em. I’m 6’1” and my biggest complaint about the Mellon Arena was that there was no leg room. I would wake up the day after a game with sore legs and a bad back. I know how much of a puss that makes me sound like especially given what the players actually go through but fuck it I pay my money so I’M GONNA BITCH. Every time I have been to the new arena, I’ve sat in the upper deck and there is the same issue with no leg room (and no cup holders!). The seats are cramped. My legs hurt and I hate it. Even worse is that the seats are incredibly steep too. So not only do I have to worry about spilling my beer as I shuffle to my seat but I also have to worry about plunging to my death with one misstep.

Everyone raves about the great view of the ice, but isn’t that the case EVERYWHERE? I have watched many sporting events in many different stadiums (usually in the cheap seats) and not once did I leave saying “it’s too bad that fucking toilet blocked my view the entire time.” I love the product on the ice. How could you not? It’s a great young team playing exciting hockey and they are competitive every night. But one day I am going to smuggle a screwdriver in my ass (or I could just give it to a chick to carry in because they never get frisked – what’s up with that sexist crap? Seriously, what is the purpose if you are going to frisk guys but not girls? Isn’t it possible some nutcase catches on and has his mom carry his glock in for him?)

Anyway one game I am going to take that screwdriver and when the guy in front of me leaves to take a dump I am going to unbolt his seat and throw it on the ice. Then when he gets back and complains about his seat disappearing I would just be all like “Shut the fuck up and sit down!” Leg room, bitches! I hate airplanes too.

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