A Message from Geno

Geno Malkin

Hello Pittsburgh ladies!  You know me.  I am Geno.  I want to say few things that bother me lately.  Sid is good man.  He is good friend and best teammate ever.  But Sid is no manly man.  Then why Geno not get as much action now that Sid back?  What is wrong with yinz?  Sid is short like little boy.  His face is cute like little boy.  Not Geno.  Geno is tall with rugged face.  LIKE MAN.  Ask Russian women—can’t get enough of Geno!  Sid is from Canada.  You know who else from Canada?  Martin Short and Justin Bieber.  You know who is from Russia?  Ivan Drago and EVERYBODY IN JAMES BOND MOVIE.  Russia is for manly men.  You know what about Russia?  In Russia they are trained to have sex at a very young age (necessary survival tactic for warmth.)  Sidney not nearly as experienced.  Mario would not let him have sex under his roof.  Plus in Russia everyone sexy.  Women not even wear panties.  (only long thermal underwear for warmth.)  Sidney even have girlie name.  Not Geno.  Geno grow up in tough environment in Russia.  Not coddled like Canadians.  In Russia when you lose hockey game they cut off your feet.  Builds character—I still have both feet.  Plus you never know with Russian men.  I could be spy!  Element of danger.  Daddy would not approve!  So next time you see me and Sid at the bar (I drinking vodka, Sid drinking ice wine) you know who is real man.  Sid give you autograph, I give you TIME OF YOUR LIFE.

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