The last few weeks have reminded me that the NHL Playoffs are the most entertaining in all of sports. I love NFL football, but the playoffs are one-and-done and confined to weekends and don’t provide nightly excitement like Hockey does. The NCAA Basketball tournament is exciting and fun to throw money at, but the quality of play has deteriorated in recent years. There still isn’t an NCAA Football tournament and won’t be for some time (four teams does NOT make a tournament). The MLB playoffs are fine if you live in one of the big markets and can tolerate long stretches of guys just standing around chewing gum. The NBA playoffs may be the only one that compares to the NHL, but I’m just not a big fan— and because they overlap, fans are almost forced to choose between the two. The NHL playoffs feature 16 teams in Best-of-Seven series— so there are plenty of games to watch almost every night and the competition is balanced and intense. The game itself is fast-paced and exciting and the playoffs usually deliver.

Despite the insanely stupid re-alignment and the recent work stoppages, the NHL is a great product. It’s definitely a niche sport and will never be as popular as others, but there are many reasons to love it. One of the reasons is the uniqueness of the sport. Besides the obvious fact that it’s played on one inch of frozen water, the NHL definitely does many things to set themselves apart from other leagues. And it does so in a way that is not gimmicky or tired—a lot of it steeped in tradition. The things that set Hockey apart from the other sports are some of the reasons that make it so special. And so SmorgasBurgh presents:

10 Unique Things We Love About the NHL

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You could probably call me one of the biggest Pittsburgh homers in the city even though I currently reside out of town. I praise the sports teams (yes, even the Pirates), the cost of living, the great schools, and the wonderful neighborhoods. OK, so I gripe about the boy mayor and the ridiculous taxes property owners have to pay, and even the antiquated liquor laws. But I don’t display an over-the-top passion like some do. Even I, at times, can take a step back and say—this idea is kind of crazy.

I bring this up because of the hysteria that pervaded the city a few weeks ago about bringing the Summer Olympics into the region. If you missed the hoopla—the Olympic Committee sent letters to 35 cities inquiring about their interest in hosting and bidding on the games. I should probably disclose that I’m not a big fan of the Olympic games, except for hockey. I think Olympic hockey is an incredible showcase for the NHL. Maybe the reason I enjoy it is because it’s a highly competitive team sport featuring athletes that I have actually seen play.

The tourism board of Pittsburgh, the Mayor’s Office, county politicians, and the media were in a frenzy about the possibility and the honor of hosting a worldwide event. The two main reasons were the exposure the city would receive along with the financial boon to the region.

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Next year’s NHL Eastern conference will have 16 teams competing for 8 playoff spots while the West will have only 14 teams also competing for 8 playoff spots. Mathematically, each team in the West has a 7% better chance of making the playoffs than teams in the East. That is ASININE. You know who does that? BASEBALL. MLB did that for years with unbalanced leagues. Baseball did that because they are stupid and awful and they hate the fans. They finally fixed it by moving the woeful Houston Astros to the American League this year (essentially crippling the Pirates chances at ever having a winning season ever again). Why would the NHL do something so stupid? Time zones. They claim that the new alignment allows for less time zone conflicts and cheaper travel costs. For example, as it stands now, Dallas is in the central time zone, but has to compete with four other teams in the Pacific division which are all in the Pacific time zone. As I’ll illustrate below, there is a better way to fix this and still keep each conference with 15 teams apiece.
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Before we get to Dan Marino, I just wanted to swallow my pride and say that the Ravens’ Super Bowl run was very impressive. After beating the Colts at home they beat two future Hall of Fame quarterbacks on the road in Denver and New England. Then they beat the San Francisco 49ers who were clearly the best team in the NFC. Well done. Although it still doesn’t change the fact that Ray Lewis has blood on his hands.

Anyway, speaking of fathers of illegitimate children…

Dan Marino approached me once and tried to start a conversation, but I was too busy and pretty much blew him off. I’m that important. This was right in the middle of his stellar career too. When he was the best QB on the planet. That’s how I fucking roll.

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Sorry folks, I’m the world’s LAZIEST BLOGGER. While all kinds of crazy shit was going on over the past few weeks and every other blogger in the world was casting stones I was too lazy to put my two cents in. I did re-watch every “Sopranos” episode on HBO GO, though. BUT HOLY SHIT. Between Manti Teo’s dead imaginary grandmother, Lance Armstrong’s confession to Oprah and Ray Lewis grinding down deer antlers and having a male stripper smear it on his rectum, this may have been the most bizarre three weeks EVER. Not in my wild dreams could I ever conceive some of the shit that went down. I don’t have time to touch on all of it (way too fucking lazy) but I will say this about the Lance Armstrong thing:  How incompetent are the International Cycling Union’s Drug Testers??? Everybody in the world already knew he was doping because HE WON SEVEN TIMES. They need to clean house and hire all of Lance Armstrong’s suppliers.

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