Justin Verlander dropped an F-bomb on live television last night in a post game interview after narrowly missing out on his third career no-hitter. Root Sports was right on top of it, though, because they hit the drop button about 40 seconds AFTER. (Oh shit. Better late than never!) Then Paul Alexander apologized because the last thing anyone wants to hear at 10pm on a Friday night is the F-word. (Or Satan’s word, as I like to call it.) No apology for the shitty Pirates baseball that they subject us to night after night, though. Verlander’s gaffe was perfectly acceptable because the Detroit reporter asked him the stupidest question ever:  ”Was your reaction (to losing the no-hitter) printable?” Verlander was just being completely honest about what his reaction was: ”Fuck!” Smorgasburgh, by the way, has absolutely no issues whatsoever with printing it. (Not sure what the Detroit Free Press is going to do.)

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My wife and I saw Pascal Dupuis in church the other day. I don’t know why I go apeshit when I see a celebrity in person as if they don’t do regular people stuff just like we do, but it happens so infrequently for me so it’s always a big deal. Plus I am so bad with names and faces that I barely ever notice. Like if I see someone I work with outside of the workplace in a restaurant or something it always takes me like 15 minutes to remember who it is. Same with people I am really close to. My wife surprised me at work for lunch once and I didn’t even notice her right away. (Oh…hey…I know you!) Some day I am going to make for a very crazy old person.

The last “famous” person I saw was Bill Hillgrove at my daughter’s soccer game. I’m assuming he was there watching his grandkid. You would think he wanted to keep a low profile but he was cheering them on the loudest…in that all too familiar announcer voice. It’s like he can’t help but do play-by-play everywhere he goes. Surreal.

Anyway, this is the conversation my wife and I had in church when we saw Dupuis:

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The Pittsburgh Pirates offensive futility this season has been absolutely stunning, and no one knows about it more than their very own pitching staff.

In terms of offense so far this season, the Pirates are aiming to cap off their full two decade losing streak by also targeting some new offensive record lows.  They currently sit last in the entire league in average, on-base percentage, slugging, and on-base + slugging.  They are also dead last in runs.  I pause here to note that they are an astounding 9 runs behind the 29^th place team.  The last place list continues with hits (10 behind the 29^th place team), doubles, homeruns, RBIs (11 behind the 29^th place team), and walks.  That is 10 total offensive categories in which the Pirate rank dead last in a league of 30 teams.

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